Friends are important to us all, and there are times when they need help and support, and look to you for it. Its very difficult to know what to do or who to tell, especially if you promised your friend not to say anything. But sometimes these promises need breaking, just to help your friend and given them the right support.
Peer pressure
Peer pressure is feeling like you have to do something just because all your mates are doing it so you won't be left out. You could also want to be like that person over there with the G-Star Jeans, style and respect. This is fine, but you still have to be yourself and its not a bad thing to be different to that person.
Good friends respect you for who you are. Sometimes you hear talk about things other people get up to like drinking or smoking, but they might just be saying it to impress you. It is hard to stand up to people, but if you have something to say to a mate, you should say it. Good mates let you be yourself and know when something is bothering you. If they don't or can’t help, we can point you in the right direction for the help and support you need.
It's easy to be a good mate
What do you like best about your mates? Chances are they'll be the same things they like about you. And part of being a good friend is helping them out if they need it. Don't think you're up to it?
All you need to do is:
- Talk and ask them what's wrong. Be patient if they don’t tell you straight away.
- Being a good listener when they do want to tell you.
- Keep something to yourself if your mate asks you to – or checking if an appropriate adult needs to get involved.
- Being trustworthy and not letting them down. Don’t tell other friends if you said you wouldn’t
- If your mate's not coping with something and you can't give them the help they need, go to a trusted adult. Don't be ashamed to ask for help.
- Take a look at the websites giving support on all kinds of issues and share the links or phone numbers.
At home
Most teenagers fall out with their parents, carers, teachers or adults. It's common to get frustrated. You may feel like your parents or teachers are trying to change you rather than letting you be yourself - but most likely they'll just want the very best for you.
There are little niggles and arguments in most families now and again and yours will be no different. But sometimes there can be serious problems such as illness, money or divorce. Even when they get sorted these issues can have a real impact on you which isn't recognised because you kept it quiet. Don’t keep these big things quiet to help other members in the family – talk to a friend or trusted adult about how you feel. Or use a national help line to vent your feelings and get some advice.
Information on other websites
ChildLine (opens in a new window) has loads of information about peer pressure, how to help your friends, be a good mate and cope at home.
Connexions (opens in a new window) can you help with lots of issues including your home life, mates, needing someone to talk to, partners, stress and depression.
Stop Hate UK (opens in a new window) tells you all about hate crime.
Victim Support (opens in a new window) has a section just for young people giving useful advice to help you if you're having problems with your mates or with relationships.
Directgov (opens in a new window) can give you help and advice about relationships.
Derbyshire Friend (opens in a new window) will give you help and support with issues about sexuality.
This content requires Adobe Flash player
